I was up early after a night on the sofa. Brian staying over for the whole weekend had become more or less a regular thing now, and I was starting to establish my own Saturday morning routine. I always got up early now, woken by the painful feeling of my morning erection straining against the confines of my cage. And when Brian was over I’d have to get up straight away and get stuck straight into a bunch of chores, because it was the only way I could take my mind off how much I wanted to touch my dick as soon as I thought about the two of them sleeping in my bed together.

I knew they’d sleep in later than me, and would fuck once they woke up, so I usually had a decent amount of time to myself. This morning I’d put on some laundry, watered the garden, and checked some emails. I’d also sorted through a box or two of junk from the shed out the back, which is something Josh and I had been slowly working through for a couple of months now whenever we got around to it. I was getting hungry so was keen to start making breakfast — I always cooked a big breakfast on a Saturday morning when Brian was in town, because I knew they’d both be hungry — but there was no point starting yet because I’d heard no signs of life, and I knew not to start cooking till they’d been fucking at least half an hour.

I’d just put the kettle on to make a second cup of coffee, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my brother, Ben, standing on the doorstep. 

“Ben! This is a surprise. I didn’t know you even got out of bed this early.”

“Shows what you know, Si” he replied. “I’ve already been out for a run before I came here. Can I come in?”

My mind flashed instantly to the thought of Josh and Brian and what they’d soon be up to. “Umm, it’s kind of not a great time right now to be honest. Could we maybe—“

“It’s important, Si. It won’t take long. What, are you like, cooking meth in there or something?”

Fuck. “No, it’s fine, come in.”

He walked straight into the kitchen, where the kettle was just coming to a boil. “Looks like I came right on time. Pour me a coffee, would you?”

I started making coffee. “What’s up, Ben? What’s this important thing you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Efficient, getting right into it. I like that, Si.” 

“What is it?” I asked, the frustration showing in my voice. I needed him to hurry the hell up so I could get him out of my house.

“Okay, so I guess it’s not that important really,” he admitted. “It’s just our parents driving me nuts about wedding presents for you, and I just don’t know what to tell them.”

I sighed. “What do you mean?

“It’s just Dad and Greta are obsessed with getting you the perfect wedding gift, but they don’t know what to get and they don’t want to ask you to ruin the surprise.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And then mum is obsessed with outdoing Dad, even though she barely has the cash to get to the wedding in the first place, let alone get you something good.”

“Uh-huh. So what I am I supposed to do?” I asked, pouring coffee. “And if they’re all trying to surprise me why are you even telling me?” I handed Ben a cup of coffee.

“Thanks bro. Hey, where’s the wife?” 

“He’s still in bed.” Hopefully still asleep for a while yet.

Ben wandered out of the kitchen and into the living room, where he stopped. “Ah, I see why it isn’t a good time,” he said. As I caught up I saw that the blanket and pillow were still on the sofa from where I slept last night. “Trouble in gay paradise?”

“No, no, nothing like that. We just had a friend over.” Not a lie; I am a terrible liar so if I can bend the truth a little bit the result is always better.

“Ah, ok. Cool,” Ben said, pushing the blanket out of the way and sitting down on the sofa. “Well anyway, I just figured you could give me some clues, on the down-low, so I can tell them all what to get you. You know, to maintain the illusion that it’s all still a surprise.”

At that moment I heard something through the wall. A murmur, or a movement. One of them was awake. 

“Okay, whatever. I’ll think about it and get back to you.” I needed him to leave, like, now.

I heard the bed creak.

“Okay. I mean, nothing springs to mind right now?”

The bed creaked again, and I heard what sounded like a moan.

Fuck. They’re going at it.

“No. I’ll email you. Later. Tomorrow.” I was starting to panic. “Listen, I have a pretty busy day, and—“ 

“I’ve only just started my coffee, Si. Chill out, dude.”

The bed creaked, and I heard some definite moaning. I was amazed Ben hadn’t noticed it. I could feel myself start to go red with embarrassment. Even though he hadn’t noticed anything yet, I was certain I was about to be outed as a cuck in front of my own brother. Fuck. I need to get him out of here. “Lets go out for coffee. Better coffee. And breakfast. You want breakfast?”

That’s when it started. The bed started to creak and thud rhythmically against the wall, and Josh’s moans picked up pace in time with the bed moving.

Ben looked up. “Fuck, what’s he doing in there?”

Shit.

“Umm—“

“Fuck!” I heard Josh cry out, loud enough that the word was clear through the wall. “Harder!” Then the bed started pounding against the wall.

Ben looked confused. I could see it ticking over in his brain. I could almost see every individual realisation sink in: that was our bedroom through the wall, and I’d already said that Josh was still in there. I saw him look over at the blanket and the pillow on the sofa as he put it together in his head.

“Hey, I should probably go,” he said, quickly getting up and scanning the room for somewhere to put his coffee down.

“Ummm it’s not—“ It’s not what it looks like? It’s exactly what it looks like.

I took the coffee cup from him, and Ben made a beeline for the front door. I followed him. “Hey, I’ll email you wedding present ideas, okay?”

“Yup, sure.” He looked so fucking awkward.

As we got into the hallway the noise stopped abruptly. And as I pulled the front door open for Ben to leave, the bedroom door opened too. It was like time stood still, as my brother and I stood there staring at the bedroom door as it swung open, and out stepped Brian. He was naked, his cock still half erect. He looked over at the two of us, gave us a nod, and said “Hey”. Then he casually walked to the bathroom, and without even shutting the door, started taking a piss.

We both just stood there for a second, before Ben shook himself out of his stunned state and backed out the door. “Hey well, I’ll see you later.”

“Hey, wait!” I stepped outside after him, and pulled the door shut behind me. “Fuck, sorry about that.”

“Hey don’t worry about it,” Ben replied in an attempt at nonchalance that was not at all convincing. “Each to their own, and all that. I’m sorry I barged in, I mean, you told me it wasn’t a good time.”

“Sorry.”

Ben paused, tentatively. “Is everything all right, though?”

“Yes. Definitely. Its… I guess you probably wouldn’t understand.”

“All good. Not for me to judge, bro.”

“Thanks.” 

He paused again, as if debating the wisdom of what he was about to say. “Jesus, that guy is hung.” Then, with a slightly sheepish look on his face, he headed for the gate. “Later bro,” he called out.

As soon as he was through the gate, he bolted. I turned to go back inside, but realised I’d just locked myself out. I banged on the door. “Josh! Guys!”

There was no answer. I was going to be out here for a while.